Apparrently, on Sep 19 2006, I was stabbed by Qian (AKA The Hobbit) – because I hadn’t been updating my blog! Haha. (View http://patiencechen.blogspot.com/2006/09/ber-stabbing.html to get what I mean) And in true Selina-style, I have heard her complain approximately 2 years later!!

Well, to be fair, Qian hasn’t been the only one who has complained. I only have a handful of faithful blog-readers, but the handful is indeed faithful.

In a sense, the excuse I’ve been putting up is this: I haven’t had time. But that’s a lie. Ok, perhaps a partial-lie. I do have enough time to blog more frequently, but I definitely have less time than I used to. The real reason is that, strangely enough, I have become a more private person in the last 2-3 years or so.

I know. I can just hear the chorus of voices attacking me, lead undoubtedly by Swen. “You’ve always been private, but you still managed to blog.“

So what is it that has changed? I don’t quite know myself; but I know that I am uncomfortable publishing online for the world to see the thoughts in my head that I think are worthy to be “penned-down”. Even if it is very unlikely that anyone else besides my handful of faithful blog-readers view my page. So I have more personal means of communication: like emails or when possible, actually meeting up!

I remember Peter telling me to shut down my blog if I wasn’t going to write anymore. I thought about that, and in the process, I viewed some of my older pages. Some made me cringe in embarrassment, some made me exclaim in awe “Wow, did I write that?? That is quite impressive!” (hey – once in a while, we’re allowed to blow our own trumpet!) and some made me think “Strange that I once thought that.”

Going through my pages, I realized it was an online record of how I have changed – sometimes quite gradually, sometimes dramatically. And I guess it serves me more than anyone else, a reminder of how weird and silly I was, and how far I have come, and in some areas, how much I have degraded! So I can’t possibly shut it down! But to you guys who have faithfully (well..perhaps not so of late??  lol) read it, I want to apologize. I am very grateful to the unexpected emails/msn msgs/texts or the occasional stab, to tell me to update my blog – but if the current trend prevails, I think I will only blog less and less.

But… there are still times, when I do have something to say that I’m not uncomfortable with the world knowing about! So..well..uhhh…what I’m trying to say is, don’t abandon my blog just yet!!!!