Twirls & Curls











{October 25, 2008}   So much for painkillers

Just this morning, at around 11.20 a.m., I was diagnosed with having phlebitis, a rather mild condition that results from an inflammation of a vein, usually in the leg. In my particular case, it’s the vein that runs from the pelvis down to my right ankle. If you want to know the exact name of that vein, ask a medic. It’s probably something unreadable and hence unpronouncable.

Sympthoms include pain along the vein especially when leg is at rest, increased skin temperature along the vein, redening, swelling, slight fever and the increased prominence of the vein in the skin. With the exception of the fever, I’ve had all – so I guess it was a fairly easy diagnosis! What the doc couldn’t tell me was what causes it and what can cure it! All he could do was prescribe me painkillers, oh, and added the comment “This condition is more common in the elderly.”

Great. I’m aging prematurely.

And so, not at all satisfied by his explanation, I googled phlebitis.  Unfortunately - the doc was right. There is no certain cause of phlebitis, and they’ve yet to find anything to cure it. There were some suggestions on relieving the pain though, among which included:

  • Avoid bedrest for prolonged periods. It can make sympthoms worse.
  • Exercise regularly to increase bloodflow.

HA HA HA. If you even have an inkling about my love for sleep, you’ll know why I find this so hilarious. Is this my body’s way of telling me I’m too much of a bum, and I should stop sleeping so much?

And speaking of relieiving sympthoms… after already a day of medication, I have lost faith in ibuprofen as a painkiller. If anything, the pain has grown, and made its way well past my ankle and into other parts of my feet! I feel like such an invalid! I feel so old!

And I am sadly disappointed with the advancement of medical science. Pffttt.



{October 17, 2008}   Superstition or Supernatural?

With Halloween coming up, I thought it might be quite interesting to ponder about the whole “witchcraft” and “wizardry” topic. I’m not exactly sure what Halloween celebrates, having not grown up in such a culture – but from what I understand, it’s a celebration of the dead or the supernatural or something along those lines… ? And I’m not talking about Harry Potter stuff – I’m talking about hardcore witchcraft – the kind that puts curses on your enemies and charms on your favourites.

Perhaps for most of us today, it seems rather distant, surreal… maybe even complete utter nonsense. Some might say it was just a backward mentality – a way Man tried to comprehend nature before he understood it. “It’s like magnets. At first, they seem like pretty freaky stuff – but when you understand the electromagnetics to it, you realize it’s just science!”

Perhaps. I don’t know. Maybe those village bomohs (Malaysian witch-doctors) are just doing some fancy chemical reactions which produce some very exciting and amusing results. But whatever it is, they produce results.

I know for a fact that these things happen because my mother grew up in such a culture. My grandmother, you could say, was one who relied on superstitions to get through life, before she turned to Christ. And I’m not talking about trivial matters such as not walking under a ladder. I’m talking about ‘placing’ pearls into your tongue so that whatever you say sounds sweet to the listener, ‘placing’ gold leaves through your skin so that many would see you as beautiful, and having a jin (genie) look after the house to ensure no burglars dare come near. I know, as a kid, my mum didn’t entertain any such talk from me, and kept a close watch on the games I played with friends.

But can you blame her? This was the world she was raised up in. Sometimes when I talk about these stuff, people laugh – but this is how it comes accross to me… it’s like someone from a warm country saying “there’s no such thing as snow” simply because they’ve never seen it.

Although I’ve never had any personal encounters with such stuff (Thank God!), I do know individuals who have. I have a very good friend whose mum was possessed by a spirit. I have a friend who used to see the toys in a certain room move around on its own. I have an ‘uncle’ who had a curse placed on him which nearly put him to death, until some Thai priests found a doll with pins burried under his house - and of course, I have the countless stories of my mother’s childhood. That is just to name a few.

The real world of ’superstition’ or ’supernatural’, however you like to put it, is nothing like the books of Harry Potter. They’re scary and you can feel the eerie sense of evil in it. I’m pretty glad my generation has done away with it. Well, most have, anyway.

The other day at church, the sermon was on Luke 11:14-24, where Jesus heals a man with an unclean spirit. My pastor had asked a pastor from Africa why we don’t see so much of ‘this kinda thing’ in the west – and the answer was something along the lines of “people are drawn away from God by materialism, instead.”

Which made me think of Materialism in a very different way. It may not look as scary and godless as witchcraft – but perhaps that makes it scarier? Being caught up in such a materialistic hedonistic world, that you don’t even know you’re living an illusion, and going further and further from the truth, moving gradually, but definitely, away from God. Perhaps it acts as a blindfold, a lie to tell you “This is the life. This is what you’re meant to do - chase your dreams and make yourself god of your life. There is no God – you are god.”

Or perhaps the lie we’re fed is “God will understand. God wants you to be happy, doesn’t he? God wants you to chase your dreams.”

It is strange that such comments seem rather unfounded. Where do we get the evidence that “God will understand – God wants you to chase your dreams.” Isn’t it a way of consoling, or perhaps convincing ourselves that what we want is what’s important, and God is onboard with it. It seems rather a way to justify our actions so that our conscience is clear. And then it seems almost similar to witchcraft – just another means of doing things so that we get what we want, isn’t it? It’s almost the same as putting curses on your enemies and charms on your favourites, but just in a different way.



{October 11, 2008}   Somebody Stabbed Me

Apparrently, on Sep 19 2006, I was stabbed by Qian (AKA The Hobbit) – because I hadn’t been updating my blog! Haha. (View http://patiencechen.blogspot.com/2006/09/ber-stabbing.html to get what I mean) And in true Selina-style, I have heard her complain approximately 2 years later!!

Well, to be fair, Qian hasn’t been the only one who has complained. I only have a handful of faithful blog-readers, but the handful is indeed faithful.

In a sense, the excuse I’ve been putting up is this: I haven’t had time. But that’s a lie. Ok, perhaps a partial-lie. I do have enough time to blog more frequently, but I definitely have less time than I used to. The real reason is that, strangely enough, I have become a more private person in the last 2-3 years or so.

I know. I can just hear the chorus of voices attacking me, lead undoubtedly by Swen. “You’ve always been private, but you still managed to blog.

So what is it that has changed? I don’t quite know myself; but I know that I am uncomfortable publishing online for the world to see the thoughts in my head that I think are worthy to be “penned-down”. Even if it is very unlikely that anyone else besides my handful of faithful blog-readers view my page. So I have more personal means of communication: like emails or when possible, actually meeting up!

I remember Peter telling me to shut down my blog if I wasn’t going to write anymore. I thought about that, and in the process, I viewed some of my older pages. Some made me cringe in embarrassment, some made me exclaim in awe “Wow, did I write that?? That is quite impressive!” (hey – once in a while, we’re allowed to blow our own trumpet!) and some made me think “Strange that I once thought that.”

Going through my pages, I realized it was an online record of how I have changed – sometimes quite gradually, sometimes dramatically. And I guess it serves me more than anyone else, a reminder of how weird and silly I was, and how far I have come, and in some areas, how much I have degraded! So I can’t possibly shut it down! But to you guys who have faithfully (well..perhaps not so of late??  lol) read it, I want to apologize. I am very grateful to the unexpected emails/msn msgs/texts or the occasional stab, to tell me to update my blog – but if the current trend prevails, I think I will only blog less and less.

But… there are still times, when I do have something to say that I’m not uncomfortable with the world knowing about! So..well..uhhh…what I’m trying to say is, don’t abandon my blog just yet!!!! :(



{October 6, 2008}   Ku Teruskan

Ku Teruskan

 

Ku telah mencabar hantuku

Berdepan ngan syaitanku

Ku akhirnya aman ngan silapku

Ku nampak kau jumpa kekuatan dalam saat lemahmu

Sekian lama hatiku kini tenang

Ku terlalu lama sengsara

Lemas dalam kesal hidupku

Ku teruskan…

 

Ku kenal tempatni

Ku cam semua muka

Setiap satu lain

Tapi semua sama juga

Mereka bukan sengaja melukaku

Tapi sudah tiba masa ku terimanya

Mereka takkan percaya ku akan berubah

Dan ku tak pernah fikir kampungku akan jadi tempat ku tak dipunyai

Ku teruskan…

 

Ku teruskan

Akhirnya ku nampak

Hidup dengan sabarnya menantiku

Dan ku tahu

Tiada pastinya

Tapi ku tak keseorangan dalam ni

Tiba masanya dalam hidup setiap orang

Semua yang dilihat hanyalah tahun yang berlari

Dan ku kini sudah buat keputusan

Bahawa hari-hari sebegitu sudah tamat

 

 

Ku telah jual apa yang boleh

Dan yang tidak ku bawa

Ku henti sebentar sebelum berlepas

Ku telah cinta bagai patut

Tapi hidup yang tak patut

Ku gadaikan semua untuk memahami

Mungkin akan ku jumpa kemaafan
Dalam selok ni pula

Ku teruskan…

Ku teruskan…



et cetera